The Background Story

Here is a picture of me (far left) when I was living in the Bulkley Valley. Either in grade 5 or 6. As you can see I have always been a little overweight and it made me very aware of my body and my dislike for it. Ever since I can remember, I have looked down on my body as something ugly and undesirable. Using food to make me feel better but always feeling worse after. Its not that I was an ugly child, I think it was the constant nagging of relatives and people I was close to that made me want to do the opposite of what I should be doing. When they told me to stop eating I would keep on binging on whatever I could get my hands on. I dont really understand why I insitead on being a deviant child when it came to food. When I think deep down about it..... I think I felt that it was the only aspect of my life that I could control. Everything else I had no choice about. I still struggle with the belief that I am being controlled and I constantly make food the number one thing I reach for when I get those feelings.